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Too many times I’ve seen, we take criticism as a personal attack, as an insult to who we are. But it’s not. Well, perhaps sometimes it is – there are some people who just love to criticize everything and everyone. But we don’t have to take it that way. Here is a tip, take criticism towards your actions and not towards you as a person. If you do that, you can detach yourself from the emotionally side of criticism and see what should be done to improve.

So many of us handle criticisms (whether it’s constructive or not) as a personal attacks and in turn we attack right back. “I’m not going to let someone talk to me that way,” or how we Dominicans say it “I not going to let someone take their foot on me.” You have to defend yourself, and attack the attacker … right? Especially if this criticism in made in public, a perfect example of public criticism – when someone will post a comment on this blog criticizing something I wrote about or apart of the blog.

Attacking back most of the time is wrong. By attacking the attacker, you are stooping to his level. Even if the person was mean or rude, you don’t have to be the same way. You don’t have to commit the same sins.

Be the better person.

If you can rise above all the insults and attacks, and respond in a calm and positive manner to the meat of the criticism, you will be the better person. And guess what? There are two amazing benefits of this:

  • Others will admire you and think better of you for rising above the attack. Especially if you remain positive and actually take the criticism well. This has happened to me, when people actually complimented me on how I handled attacking comments.
  • You will feel good about yourself. By participating in personal attacks, we dirty ourselves. But if we can stay above that level, we feel good about who we are. And that’s the most important benefit of all.

How do you stay above the attacks and be the better person? By removing yourself from the criticism, and looking only at the actions criticized. By seeing the positive in the criticism, and trying to improve. By thanking the critic, and by responding with a positive attitude. After you did you will feel good about yourself and the way you acted…trust me.

How do you handle criticism? Please share your tips and suggestions in the comments.

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4 Comments »

Comment by Diane Corriette Subscribed to comments via email
2008-05-05 13:04:12

When teaching young people I always told them to take a look and see if there is any truth in what was said. Sometimes when we are upset it can be because there is a small grain of truth in a comment.

If however there is no truth in it then I encourage young people to recognise that the comments the person made say more about that person and what they think about themselves.

People critcise to feel better about themselves even if they have to hurt another person. It is a classic case of low self esteem. Especially those who are hurtful online. How brave do you have to be to leave a “nasty” comment when you are sat protected by a computer screen.

Behind rude comments is a weak person without any personal power.

Diane
Dominican Diaspora

 
Comment by Renee Subscribed to comments via email
2010-10-18 16:07:01

Beautifully put and words that I really needed to read today, funny how it always works that way! So with Gratitude, Thank You for sharing.

Renee Z

 
Comment by Chris
2010-10-20 04:37:13

I’m happy my words inspired you in some way or the other Renee Z.

Breathe…

Chris!

 
Comment by Renee Subscribed to comments via email
2010-10-20 12:40:33

Learning to take criticism without taking it personally is definitely one of my challenges in this lifetime… I was under attack about a comment I had posted on FB while trying to be silly and it went absolutely sideways!! Instead of realizing that I was not under attack but instead the words of another that I quoted were under attack helped but I was still a bit fired up about it, and then I ran across your post while reading about Dominica. Your words reminded me and allowed me to breathe….. and look at it from another light, I have bookmarked it so I can return to it when I need the reminder.

My husband and I are moving to Dominica this Spring and I am even more excited to read you are from and living in Dominica…. like minded people are a beautiful thing in a small community and can make a huge difference. You obviously are making one!!

Thanks Again,
Renee

 
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