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Editor’s note:This article was published in the February 2nd,2009 issue of the Sun Newspaper by Dr. Janet Taylor, and I thought it so clever I wanted to share with Dominica Weekly readers.

Did you know that some geologists exploring Dominica found a new element? The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact, a tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally lake less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has normal half-life of 2-6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.This characteristic of morons promotion lead some scientists to believe that Goverametium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

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7 Comments »

Comment by Suki
2009-02-03 11:40:17

That is really interesting – I would be interested in being updated on what possible uses there are for this new element.

 
Comment by Sam
2009-02-03 13:57:26

Very interesting and well put together. Speaks nothing but the truth.
Sam

Comment by Chris
2009-02-03 15:27:35

I thought the same thing when I first read it…. 🙂

 
 
Comment by Lucille
2009-02-03 22:40:00

Thanks for the update on such a fantastic find, I have withdrawn my cadidacy, as I would not want to get poluted. Ha ha ha ha 😆

 
Comment by pete
2009-02-04 07:13:49

OMG! What do we do? This element is toxic. Disposal may cause a major environmental problem if not handled properly. The legacies may be with us for years to come. How do we handle it? Do we isolate it and bury it deep down in a mountain in 2010?

 
Comment by Jahseriah Subscribed to comments via email
2009-02-08 14:19:25

for those who did not get the joke
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Governmentium

 
Comment by dee Subscribed to comments via email
2009-02-09 12:03:24

ha ha ha, i love this, well written and as someone who doesnt really like the political state of Dominica, i agree totally with the description of our politics.

 
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