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Archive for the ‘Personal Development’


Often we’re told at a very early age that we have to suffer now – give up want we want – so that we can succeed later in life, that in order to save we must prepared to make some sacrifices. Give up instant gratification to get delayed gratification down the line.

But you can do both, as I mention in the opening paragraph of this post – you must prepared to make some scarifies.

Forever since I can remember, I was confused about this, which sent me two different messages:

1.Pleasure later. The first message was that in order to be successful, in order to build wealth and make something of yourself, you have to delay gratification. As my mom will always say “you can’t have your cake and eat.” – I never really understood what she meant by that up until I started living on my own.
2.Pleasure now. The second message was usually from other sources on happiness, but sometimes from the same source: enjoy life now, while you can, because it’s short and you never know when your last day will come. Live every day like it’s your last.

The funny thing is, I agree with both messages. And if continue to read this post, you’ll see that I touch on both messages. Live sparingly and simply! But also enjoy life.

Liuda (fiancée) and I have come to a point in our lives, where we’ve decided to make the all necessary sacrifices in other for us to own our home; so we’ve reconciled the two ways of life into one: Live life now and enjoy it to the fullest — without destroying our future. we find ways to enjoy life completely, utterly, maximally … that don’t cost our future very much.

Here are some tips for actually living that philosophy:

Find free or cheap pleasures. Sparingly does not have to be boring or restrictive … if you use your imagination. Be creative and find ways to have fun — loads of it — without spending much money. Have a drink-ups at friends homes, go to the beach, board games, take field trips , make art, bake cookies 🙂 … there are maybe a hundred of different things you could come up with a few hundred more. Make a list of simple pleasures, and enjoy them to the maximum.

Make simplifying fun. I’m a big fan of simplifying my life in every way, from decluttering to creating a simple lifestyle. And to me, this is fun. I get rid of stuff (and possibly make money selling it) and have a blast doing it.

Rediscover what’s important. Too often we spend tons of money, shopping, going out, watching television, eating out … without really enjoying life. And when we stop to think about it, we never have time for the things we really want to do. Well, that’s probably because your life is filled with things that aren’t very important to you. Instead, take a few steps back and really think about what’s important to you. Then get rid of the other (expensive) stuff, and focus on what’s important.

Make people a priority. I thought I’d give it a little more emphasis, as this is related to the above point. If you give “stuff” a priority — stuff like gadgets, nice furnishings, nice clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. — then you will spend a lot of money. But if you make people a priority — the people you love most, you close friends and family — you don’t need to spend a dime to enjoy life. Talk about books you’ve read, movies you’ve watched, new things going on in your life, your hopes and dreams. And make time for your kids or your significant other — really spend time with them, doing things that don’t cost money.

Track your successes. It doesn’t really matter how you track your success … you can use gold stars for creating a new simplifying habit, or use a spreadsheet chart to track your decreasing debt and increasing savings or investments. Tracking is a great way to not only provide motivation, but make the process of changing fun.

Reward yourself. And in order to make it more fun, celebrate every little success! Set rewards for yourself (hopefully not too expensive!) along your path to success.

Find time for yourself. Make time every day, and every week, to spend time alone. It really gives more meaning and enjoyment to your life, rather than rushing through life with no time to think, to breathe. You need some “me time” everyday.

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No matter how much structure we create in our lives, no matter how many good habits we build, there will always be things that we cannot control — and if we let them, these things can be a huge source of anger, frustration and stress.

For example, let’s say you’ve created the perfect peaceful morning routine. You’ve structured your mornings so that you do things that bring you calm and happiness that carries right into your entire day. And then out of the blue the water pipe bursts in your bathroom, what worst the bathroom is clogged up and you spend a stressful morning trying to clean up the mess and get the pipe fixed.

You get frustrated. You are disappointed, because you didn’t get to do your morning routine. You are stressed from all these changes to what you’re used to. It ruins your day because you are frustrated for the rest of the day.

Not the best way to handle things, is it? And yet if we are honest, most of us have problems like this, with things that change the way we like things, with people who change what we are used to, with life when it doesn’t go the way we want it to go.

I think we all know this at some level, but the way we think and act and feel many times contradicts this basic truth. We don’t control the universe, and yet we seem to wish we could. All the wishful thinking won’t make it so. You can’t even control everything within your own little sphere of influence — you can influence things, but many things are simply out of your control.

In the example above, you can control your morning routine, but there will be things that happen from time to time (someone’s sick, accident happens, phone call comes at 5 a.m. that disrupts things, etc.) that will make you break your routine. First step is realizing that these things will happen. Not might happen, but will. There are things that we cannot control that will affect every aspect of our lives, and we must accept that, or we will constantly be frustrated. Meditate on this for awhile.

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“I think I’ve been lucky, being my frequent appearances on Court TV have brought to me another level than just the actor guy.”

rdjr

“I think that the power is the principle. The principle of moving forward, as though you have the confidence to move forward, eventually gives you confidence when you look back and see what you’ve done. “

——Personal Note——

Robert Downey JR is a perfect example of someone who understands how to accept losing – he realizes that losing hurts depending on how much you let the loss define you. If you are aware of who you are – then your identity cannot be defined by any events in your life, then loss or failure does not hurt.

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