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Archive for the ‘Personal Development’


Besides making real decisions, a man has to be confident in the way he speaks and acts – he owns his attitude.

He often knows that failure is a possible outcome in his life, that’s why a (real) man does not adopt a confident attitude because he knows he’ll succeed. When the odds of success are clearly against him, he still displays confidence. It’s not because he’s uninformed or suffering from denial. It’s because he’s proving to himself that he has the strength and the ability to rise above his self-doubt. This builds his courage and persistence, two of his most valuable allies.

A man is willing to be defeated by the world. He’s willing to be taken down by circumstances beyond his control. But he refuses to be overwhelmed by his own self-doubt. He knows that when he stops trusting and believing in himself, he is surely lost. He’ll surrender to fate when necessary, but he won’t surrender to fear – which he knows keeps him on the alert.


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Inspired by one of my favorite Personal Development bloggers Steve Pavlina, who recently published an article titled How to be a Man; I’m following up with my own take on what I believe takes to be a man - particularly in a society like ours where most of the time the idea of being a “real” man falls between the amount of money he has or women whether or not his good with the ladies. Sad but true.

So what does it mean to be a man today? How can men in the Caribbean consciously express their masculinity with becoming cold-hearted on one hand…or a wimp on the other? In the next week or two I will be posting on what are the most loving ways for a man to live and express himself.

The first way I’m going to touch on is the aspect of Making Real Decisions.

Any man should understand and respect the power of choice, and lives a life of his own creation. He knows that life stands still when he fails to make decisions and flourishes when he chooses a clear path for himself or his family.

When a man makes a decision, he opens the door he wants and closes the doors he doesn’t want. For example, when most men decide to pursue a beautiful woman; he will do almost anything to win her heart – knowing clearly there is no guarantee he’ll win her over. But a man doesn’t need such guarantees; he simply enjoys the sense of certainty that comes for opening that door.

A man doesn’t require the approval of others. He’s will to follow his heart wherever it leads him. A quality which is lacking in most Caribbean men – fearing that their piers might disapprove of their decision and think of them differently. When a man is following his heart–centered path, it’s of little or no consequence if the whole world is against him.


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Sure, we all know how to lie around, and just waste time doing nothing. But the way society is constantly evolving - not just in the Caribbean but the entire world. Many of us are to busy to do it much, and when we do it (do nothing), our minds are often on other things. We cannot relax and enjoy the art of doing nothing.

Doing nothing can either be a waste of time, or it can be an art form. :smile: Here’s how to incorporate the art of doing nothing in your daily, and in the process, improve your life – take away the stress and make yourself more productive when you do decide do to some work.

Start small

Doing nothing, in the real world can be overwhelming if you attempt to do too much nothing at once. Try doing small nothings at first. Focus on the 5-15 minutes at a time, and start practicing in a safe place – at home, not at work or in a busy public place. Find a time and place where there are not many distractions, not much noise, not a lot of people to bother you.
Shut off all possible distractions — TV, computer, cell phones, iPods, regular phones, and smart phones. Doing nothing is hard when our communications gadgets are calling at us to do something. Now, close your eyes, and do nothing.

Incorporating the Art in daily life

Start by doing nothing while you are waiting in line, at the bank, on a bus, or for your order at one those fast food restaurants. Wait, without reading a magazine, without talking on the phone, without checking your email, without writing out your to-do list, without doing any work, without worrying about what you need to do later. Wait, and do nothing. Concentrate on your breathing and just relax. Concentrate on those around you — watch them, try to understand them, listen to their conversations.
Next, try doing nothing when you drive. Yes, you must drive, but try to do nothing else. Don’t listen to music or news or an audiotape. Don’t multi-task. Too many times you see people talking on their cell phones, eating, or fixing their makeup while driving. Just drive. Relax yourself, and don’t worry about the other drivers, just don’t avoid crashing into them.

Lastly, try doing nothing in the middle of confusion, in your workplace or any other stressful environment. Just shut everything out, close your eyes, and think about your breathing. Just relax and let everything go. Try doing this for 5-10 minutes at a time, and gradually building it up to 15-25 minutes. If you can do this, midway of a stressful day at work or with the kids, you will allow yourself to focus more fully on the task at hand. You will be relaxed and ready to concentrate, to bring yourself into a good state of mind.

Warning: Doing nothing at your job could get you in a lot of trouble with your boss, so be careful! But if it makes you a better worker, maybe your boss might not mind. :smile: I can tell you, doing nothing isn’t easy. But you will enjoy every minutes of it!


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