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While browsing the internet a few days ago, I stumbled across this very interesting post over at Alex Shalman dot com titled “10 Life Lesson the Ernest Hemingway.” I found it so ironic, that I came across this post, when that same week I started reading - The Complete Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway: The Finca Vigia Edition.

In the post Robert of Flimjo.COM, describes now the best source for practical personal development is literature. And why nowhere else will you find better wisdom and insight to develop your sense of self and your character?

You will also find hidden pieces of advice and instruction. In other words, reading a great book not only provides you with a nice reading experience, but it also gives you value that far exceeds the price you paid for that book.

One the great writers you’ve inspired me is Ernest Hemingway, though I’ve just started reading some of his work. While Hemingway death was a tragedy, but he left behind legendary novels and collection of short stories that contain priceless guidance.

I strongly recommend you read “The Complete Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway: The Finca Vigia Edition” if you want to learn about Ernest Hemingway.

Below is an “excerpt” from the post:

“It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.” For Whom the Bell Tolls

A bit strong to start off this list quotes. Nevertheless I found it appropriate; it illustrates the value and fulfillment of living while sticking to your beliefs and ideas. The minute you surrender your beliefs, you sacrifice who you are, and you condemn yourself to a life of timid submission.

“You can’t get away from yourself by moving from one place to another. There’s nothing to that.” The Sun Also Rises.

Everyone has problems and flaws. But running away from a realization and an acknowledgment of those issues won’t solve anything. Wherever you go, they will follow you. The hardest thing to do is look in the mirror and say, “I’m going to fix this. I can change.”

“There is only now and if now is only two days, then two days is your life and everything in it will be in proportion. This is how you live a life in two days. And if you stop complaining and asking for what you will never get, you will have a good life.” For Whom the Bell Tolls.

One of the most important themes of For Whom the Bell Tolls is the well-known principle that one should “seize the day.” Yesterday doesn’t matter, and neither does tomorrow. Today is what you have, and it makes sense to make the best of it.

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Hi everyone…I’m planning a trip to St Lucia for the annual Jazz Festival in May, this will be my third time to the Festival. But it’s been awhile seen I last traveled, so I’ve been doing a lot of research, planning, reading and dreaming of this vacation for a while now. In short, I’m already having a blast.

I’m planning on keeping my packing list very light, and will only be bringing a small backpack (not one of those huge camping back packs or anything) and a couple changes of clothes. If everything goes as schedule, I will be gone a couple weeks in early late April/mid May.

So here’s the question:

What are your tips (not just for me, but for anyone) for traveling light and keeping your traveling as simple and relaxed as possible?

As you can guess, I plan to keep this trip as Zen-like monk and stress-free as I can. I’d love to hear your tips — again, not just for me, but for anyone traveling anywhere.

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What the hell! Ringing cellphone with ridiculous ring tones, lost data, rude customers, unreasonable deadlines, demanding bosses. A sure-fire recipe, that sometimes makes you feel like screaming your head off.

Emotional knowledge and mastery skills are not just a benefit these days; they’ve become a requirement. In this post my aims to address that need. It aims to provide proven methods and ways to handle anything that happens in a mature and respectful manner.

The Turning Point

The turning point for me is, the vital first step; taking fundamental responsibility for our behaviour.
Your boss begins shouting at you, and you are filled with anger, and begin shouting back, or you go home and take it out on someone who just happens to be there. You are late for a job interview, and your heart begins beating fast, you start sweating, and you start speeding through traffic - risking your life - to get there in time.

You think it’s you boss fault you are angry, but it isn’t. You think it is the traffic jam that caused your anxiety, but it isn’t. You, and no one else, nothing else, are responsible.

The biggest Lie

To think that anyone else is responsible is the biggest lie, and one of the most disempowering. I believe that people and events have no control over us - except what we give them. If we buy into this lies, we would be no different from puppies; trained to bark and jump, and wag our tails at the slightest action from others.

Not too long ago, I had a minor confrontation with a customer (let just call her Jane) who came into the FedEx office looking for a package which hadn’t arrive. I politely pointed out that the package was not yet in Dominica, because the plane was scheduled to land in Dominica later that afternoon.

It took all of us by surprise, and as she began calling me names, I felt my anger rise. “How dare she talk to me like that? What does she know? I didn’t do or say anything wrong, why was she in such a rage?”

I wanted to shout back, but I remained silent until my own anger had passed, and she had finished her outburst. Then I explained calmly that I had meant no disrespect, and apologized for any misunderstandings. In the end, everything worked out just fine.

The ABC Model

Albert Ellis, who is one of the pioneers of Cognitive Psychology, came up with a simple system to describe how we really operate. He called it the ABC model: Antecedent, Belief, and Consequence.
We believe that A leads directly to C. In the example above, Jane antagonized me, leading to my Anger. But that was not true - there was some reaction in between, my beliefs had filtered the experience and therefore created the anger.

The thoughts I had, revealed the beliefs that lay beneath them: We shouldn’t be shouted at; everyone should be polite; she should respect my information.

Interestingly, many spiritual traditions state the same thing - the difference between how reality is and our beliefs about how reality should be causes our suffering. The truth of this is obvious, if we look around us - why does certain people remain calm in the midst of financial hardship in Dominica, while another falls to pieces?

Change starts From Within

It makes sense then, that to change our behaviours, we have to change what happens inside us.
What we have to know are the two levels of our internal reactions: our emotions and our thoughts. They feed off each other in one big circle. For example, the more fearful or angry we become, the more distorted our thoughts are. The more distorted our thoughts are, the stronger our emotional reaction.

And of course, this cycle builds until we take physical action. Often times, this result in us doing something we’ll regret. Breathe!

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