Photo via guestofaguest.com
Not too long ago, fellow blogger Danielle Edwards wrote a post on how the world is getting too comfortable with Bizarre Sexual behavior. She made some very interesting point on how destructive sexually transmitted HIV/ AIDS pandemic haunts the very future of humanity and how the world grapples with this phenomenally calamitous disease, where many have taken up the mantle of preaching ‘safe sex’, ‘abstinence’ and ‘staying faithful to one partner’ in a so-called ‘morally loose’ world.
In this post I will like to comment on the issue of same-sex marriages, and also raised the question as to what would be the legal implications in Dominica, if two Dominicans of the same sex were to take advantage of the opportunities that are being provided in some cities in the United States to get married and return to Dominica as a married couple.
This issue of same sex marriage raises a lot of questions for which there are no easy answers. For example: How would Dominica regard that “marriage” legally? Since no laws would have been broken in the city where the “marriage” took place - let us say San Francisco, for example, where such marriages are being carried out - would that couple be breaking the law in Dominica if they were to live together as a married couple?
To be sure, it is not a far-fetched scheme, given the fact that homosexuals in this country have been more boldly expressing themselves openly in recent years, as the worldwide “taboo” associated with being gay has lost most of its shame because of the widespread acceptance of this unnatural act as being simply a matter of sexual preference and not the abomination that the Bible says it is.
What makes this likelihood even more terrifying is the possibility that if same-sex marriages conducted abroad were to become acceptable in the nature island, Dominican family life could change drastically, not so much because of gay men, but rather because of the lesbian population - which unknowing is much larger in Dominica than many people would like to believe.
There are many professional women who refuse to lower their standards just to have a man in their lives, and rather than lead a lonely life — with the resultant prospect of growing old by themselves - they start experimenting with filling their sexual needs by having a “relationship” with another woman. After awhile a vast majority of these women become quite comfortable in such relationships and literally remove themselves from having a traditional marriage with a man.
Combined with the fact that 90% of the inmates in Stock Farm State Prison are men, a conclusion could easily be reached that this country is teeming with lesbians who are only waiting for the right time to declare their sexuality openly. It may not have anything to do with the belief that lesbianism is a growing trend in Dominica, but it is not uncommon at public social functions where women to go out socially as a group and dance with each other as couples. This sort of thing no longer even raises eyebrows.
So while there is cause for serious concern in the Caribbean, if the United States does not take legislative action to stop certain jurisdictions from legally performing same sex marriages, the traditional Dominican family, as we know it, could be a thing of the past in many respects.
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Hi Chris,
With regards to this topic, I can only say ditto my earlier comments. No need to repeat what has already been said.
With regards to women dancing together, as a woman, I would like to provide you with a response. During my years in the club scene I would often go out to a club or bar and dance with my girlfriends, not because we were lesbian (though as you know I don’t think this matters) but because I never liked the idea of some strange guy pushing his body onto mine. We went to the club to dance not to be picked up or pick up men - why not dance together?
You said,
“There are many professional women who refuse to lower their standards just to have a man in their lives, and rather than lead a lonely life — with the resultant prospect of growing old by themselves - they start experimenting with filling their sexual needs by having a “relationship” with another woman. After awhile a vast majority of these women become quite comfortable in such relationships and literally remove themselves from having a traditional marriage with a man.”
What a conclusion! I don’t know why any women should lower their standards just to have a man in their lives, I certainly did not. During the time that I was not in a relationship and therefore “alone”, I was not lonely - there is more to life than just a intimate, sexual relationship. To get into a relationship simply because you don’t want to “grow old” by yourself is not a reason to want to be in a relationship. There are too many years of life to be with anyone just for the sake of being with someone. Concluding that this leads to lesbian relationships is a stretch. People who are attracted to others of the same sex simply are attracted to them, not because a circumstance caused them to become attracted.
You said,
“Combined with the fact that 90% of the inmates in Stock Farm State Prison are men, a conclusion could easily be reached that this country is teeming with lesbians who are only waiting for the right time to declare their sexuality openly.”
Since I laughed out loud, I figure this must have been a joke - teeming with lesbians? This still brings a smile as a write it. I don’t believe that you even believe that.
You said,
“as the worldwide “taboo” associated with being gay has lost most of its shame because of the widespread acceptance of this unnatural act as being simply a matter of sexual preference and not the abomination that the Bible says it is.”
I don’t want to get into a Bible argument but simple common sense relating to the fact that the Bible has been translated many times has to make one weary about pointing to the Bible as the justification for calling an act unnatural. In addition, if people who follow the Bible do not follow all of the “rules” or “teachings” of the Bible, then they can not expect anyone else to follow this one “teaching”. Ye without sin cast the first stone.
Now Chris, I find myself rambling along with you so, in the spirit of rambling, I would like to suggest some topics. Given that I believe the people who read this blog are interested in Dominica, I’ve always thought it would be good to have an inside look at the government and what they do as part of their daily business. Stories like the one I read about the guy on the island with the eco-resort and an update on what has been happening with him would be interesting. An update on the Botanical Garden and some thoughts on how to help bring it back to its former glory would be interesting to get opinions on. In staying with the theme of tips for life, even a series on some of your native medicinal plants, trees or herbs and some information about how they have worked traditionally would be very interesting or perhaps tips on moving on to higher education for example. Maybe an article about what it means to be “educated”. I have found in the United States (in my own personal experience of course) farmers who are experts in getting fruit from their land are not as well respected as corporate lawyers. Both individuals are very well educated from my point of view yet they are not treated that way. What about the educational system that teaches children facts but does not teach them to take care of themselves? Why the suggestion? Forgive me for being presumptuous, however, it would seem that there are so many topics that we can discuss without calling for the taking away of human rights or topics that continue to feed into the thought that the “world is going to end”. There are so many good things going on and so many good people and so much we can share with each other that would feed into the thought that “the best is yet to come”. Positive thinking and Positive action = positive results.
Just a thought.
Suki K Tranqille
Amen Suki! As always, I agree with you 85%!
Joel
Suki,
Interesting comment here. You are applauded for adding some sense of balance. I think as much as I enjoy plugging into the Dominican ramblings on a daily basis (as a Dominican living in the US) and I appreciate the efforts that Chris makes, sometimes his conclusions are not very logical. So, yes, I too would like to hear and/comment on the issues of everyday living, the local governance and all that. Give a mention about the people who also go out of their way to improve things too….the people who dont make the news but are behind the news.
Pete
Thank you, Pete. I too appreciate both Chris and Danielle and their ramblings. I once had a blog and know how difficult and time consuming it can be to come up with topics that will be interesting to the readers and to write on those topics. While I enjoyed my blog, it just took up too much of my time. I do enjoy though the opinions here and having the opportunity to respond, as a person who intends on relocating to Dominica, I am interested in the people, the political landscape, etc. As a student of history and law, the relationship between people and their government has always interested me - for example, I noticed that Dominica hired someone to oversee ethics in government and watch the politicians - why? If the proceedings of the government were open to the people at all times (perhaps broadcast on the radio live as we broadcast on C-SPAN here), then there would be some transparency. The government has received 21 million from Venezuela for improvements but has not detailed what those improvements will be. Why not be transparent during times of negotiation and receiving money, with the age of the internet, it is simple to post the budget of Dominica online at all times for the populace to see. Transparency is simple yet underutilized. Instead, another level of bureaucracy has been added and power concentrated in the hands of one individual. I’ve seen this method of “checks and balances” before, it’s not original. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. I would caution the citizens of Dominica to really pay attention to the “deals” that are being accepted, what do they want in return? I would be interested in hearing from anyone who can shed light on the subject.
Suki K Tranqille
Suki,
If you got the time you might find the book: The Dominica Story by Lenox Honeychurch, interesting and educational in terms of understanding not just past and recent history, but also some of the psches at work in the Dominican society. Speaking of transparency - I agree more is desirable, though sometimes there is a fine line between the public’s right to know and the government being able to discharge the power vested in it in an expeditious manner. It can be a delimna: the public has a right to know. The public also needs to have some confidence in the government to act deligently on its behalf as well..So the question might be: to what extent does the government explain out all its strategies to the public. In negotiating with other states for aid etc, sometimes the government needs to hold its cards close to its chest. This is probably what it is doing with the deals with venezuela. It seems that Venezuela is bank rolling financing in areas where the Dcan government may not be able to raise funds. I dont think the government is hiding the breakdown of the allocations for funds received in a nefarious way. Rather, I think the government’s priorities keep changing and this might be symptomatic of issues with strategic planning. For example the government completes ( a long overdue) half of the southern sea wall in scotts head and then waits to negotiate available funds for the other half! By the way it is sometimes to the Government’s benefit in vaguely defining use of funds sourced. That way, it can placate any issues that suddenly become of national significance!
Back to the historical perspective on transparency. I am old enough to remember the hilarious, vociforeous and outrageous comments that were broadcasts to the world on Dominica State radio and Tv by previous administrations on the goings on in parliarment. Later the same party who came on the Freedom mantra, and who campaigned against the famous “shut your mouth bill” etc decided to shut down that transparency of parliarment reaching the people. As far as I recall this did not evoke the wrath of the people at all. The people forecfully elected the party three more times.
Fast-forward 2008. I understand that talk radio is king in Prime time radio in Dominica, and more radio stations have sprouted. Considering that there is very limited censorship, such movements (giving the voice to the people) I figure have added to the pressure of enforcing the integrity legislation enactment.
Talking of which..like many such plans, we do not think of the tactical aspects. Of course implementing the legislation would take some considerable amount of money, but who thought about that previously. And yes, there are issues with talent and skills in Dominica on all levels, and although its a travesty too -that a prophet is often not honored in his own country - I can understand and accept the impatiality that someone from outside could bring to heading the committee. I have no problems with that. May the best man have the job. After all, Dominica has much more talents and skills outside than in. Case closed!
Oh, before I end. Yes, Suki get that book I suggested in the beginning. It will be an eye opener to see places Dominica has been before and how we have come back full circle. The country in many ways is moving on. And even this blog helps to bring out useful ideas…
Ending, the problem with small states like Dominica is simply this: the small island syndrome. Too much political capital needs to be spent, and in the end rewards are about making the best strategic choices, whether its about affiliations with other states, whether its about use of resources (that includes the talented people in the daspora as well) and accountability and involvement of the people. It is even more critical therefore that the populace needs to be appropriately educated on the issues (but literraly educated properly as well - our literacy rate is still too low), and that they are involved. Failing that it may take at least 5 years (the next election) to correct the course. By which time we may be a few steps backward (if real natural disaters like hurricanes do not do that own its own).
So, keep the light burning bloggers! blog on!
pete
Pete,
Thank you for the suggestion, I just ordered to book on Amazon and look forward to reading it on my road trip next month. That being said, I agree 100% with the transparency concerns you raise and yes government officials should be trusted to act in a manner that best suits the people and they should also be able to negotiate without putting all their cards on the table. People will not always agree but that is the nature of life after all.
One idea that I have always felt worked well here is the idea of term limits - that way you limit the corruption that finds its way into those who make politics a career. On the one hand, it does interrupt the natural flow when someone has been working on a project for a long period of time but on the other hand it allows more people to take part in the political process thereby giving a natural “transparency”.
While I don’t know what Dominica’s problems are, I get the sense that the economy is of great concern, particularly how to get more of the world’s dollars in order to make some of the infrastructure upgrades that will make people’s lives safer and more comfortable. I agree with you that education is the key and in addition to literacy an emphasis on computer literacy and its economic benefits should not be left unexplored. The number of people who are making a living with a laptop continues to grow everyday. I had a website created by someone who was physically in India and have had a lot of my technical needs serviced by people in India because they seem to have mastered providing the services seamlessly. Of course, I was able to secure a competitive price which is why I chose the service in the first place - Dominica is in a position to be able to be very competitive in this field and it has a lot of things that are already in its favor. The people already speak English and our time zones are similar. The beauty of this is that generally speaking those types of jobs are results based, producing is important, not what country you’re from or what school you went to.
There is a Virtual Reality Program called “Second Life” where people are creating virtual worlds for company’s and getting paid quite well to create and modify the space. Dominica is still working on its tourism industry, why not create a Virtual Dominica in Second Life to introduce, promote and show people what Dominica is like? Creating the Virtual World may cost a few thousand dollars but maintaining it is not costly and the results (given that you are now tapping into the world market of about 2 million people) are priceless. Some colleges are building virtual classrooms to introduce students to the college before they actually arrive. Dominica would be the first Caribbean island to marry technology and tourism and would get great press for doing so as well. I think here Pete, what is required is thinking outside the box - you do of course have to be aware of what is outside the box and that is where the diaspora would come in. As always, this is just a thought.
Suki K Tranqille
Suki
I am so glad you got the book! Great!
I was also happy to read of your comments and insights, specifically about new approaches to doing business and promoting tourism while thinking outside of the box. I am totally for that! Thats one of the difficulties I had when living on island. Though Dominicans are famous for our warm hearts and readiness to welcome a stranger, from a business perspective, the customer service approach on the island needs much improvement. Even as a customer and also as a worker on one of the largest firms on the island I was tremendously disappointed and discouraged, while I tried to play my role to raise standards in my own way.
Your ideas are interesting! I just wish more local policy makers were more open to moving out of the same old, same old, sometimes! So yes, thinking outside the box is a challenge in itself as even understanding what needs to be in the box so to speak has been challenging too on the island! But I am all for that. We definitely embraced tourism a little late, but things are picking up. In terms of IT, generally the population are very nmuch into it as well. From a business perspective though, improvements are needed. For one thing it is alleged that IT conection is simply too high. Never mind the fact that years ago the local David in the business (Marpin Telecom) took on the Global firm Cable and Wireless and through competition, brought down the fees significantly!
You may not know this, but Dominica and Dominicans have had many firsts in the Globe. For example, in the 1980s we became the first country in the world to be fully digital in the telecom industry. We have many accolades in terms of green tourism firsts and numerous awards for eco-tourism. We are in the top 10 of the happiest people on earth! We sometimes are mentioned on some talk shows. I could go on and on. The country has much potential.
You know, lately US News and World Report ran a one page ad on Ross University in Dominica (largest medical offshore university outside the US). It even had a picture of fishes in the ocean. But I was disappointed that the Tourism department did not use the opportunity to team up with Ross to jointly market the island in that Ad. It was all about Ross. You can keep the focus on the school’s 30th anniversary in Dominica, welcome new potentials and all that, but subtly market the island (they already had a cool nature island pic too). In much the same way as Sandals also markets the islands of Jamaica, St. Lucia and Antigua. I actually sent a copy of the Ad to the Tourism Director/CEO in Dominica. By the way that was a foreigner in a top position, and he supposedly has great marketing acumen and was from the US Virgin Islands, so I am sure he could see some value in teaming up with stakholders for marketing. The interesting thing now though is that he has tended his resignation. I wonder if it had anything to do with him trying to implement out of the box thinking with the administration. Yes, unfortunately, government sometimes tend to discourage many of our bright talents, as ideas are caught up in bureaucracy that many times are not open enough to these new things.
Well, change comes from the top right? But its easy not to go against the grain. Sometimes too politicians get into office as ministers but do not have much executive leadership skills and this affects productivity of the real professionals below them. I think there should be a manadtory series of seminars for new entrants heading ministries and such posts!
Talking about literacy, in Dominica its not bad, but not great either. Literacy has been in the about 94% for years and have not moved in a long time despite developments elsewhere. Compare this to a few other islands in the Caribbean and you will see that we have not progressed much along this measure. On the other hand, hats off to the thousands of dominicans pursuing degrees oversees (and not to forget those who start their degres at the local State College). Sadly most never return (myself included). We enrich the livelihood of other countries instead, where perhaps we can also thrive with outside-the-box ideas.
By the way if you want to look at other measures of real development, look at the human development index and compare the countries. You will see that really, we stand better off than many countries! From Wikipedia: The Human Development Index (HDI) is an index combining normalized measures of life expectancy, literacy, educational attainment, and GDP per capita for countries worldwide. It is claimed as a standard means of measuring human development — a concept that, according to the United Nations Development Program (UNDP), refers to the process of widening the options of persons, giving them greater opportunities for education, health care, income, employment, etc. Have a look: http://hdrstats.undp.org/countries/country_fact_sheets/cty_fs_DMA.html
Ok, I think thats enough food for though already. I would be happy to hear from anyone on this.
Pete
Further to the earlier comment, it appears that the adult literacy rate appears lower than I quoted
pete
I did not know the Director/CEO resigned, I thought he was just appointed? The mindsets required to work for the government and business are often times very different. In the world of business while a CEO may have to answer to stock holders that individual is free to choose the method they believe will be most successful and that person is judged based on their results - government wants to approve every step along the way making it really difficult to produce results. I ran for office once and won, the administration could not wait to get me out of there, I called people, demanded changes, refused to sign a budget that included increases research and attended every meeting. While it was satisfying, I found myself fighting all the time (I really dislike fighting) and all my efforts undone once I left office (very discouraging). I don’t think the people even knew I prevented an increase in fees. I realized that I am more suited to business, succeed or fail based on the results of my efforts.
“Combined with the fact that 90% of the inmates in Stock Farm State Prison are men, a conclusion could easily be reached that this country is teeming with lesbians who are only waiting for the right time to declare their sexuality openly.”
Oh my god! This was so funny! I laughed so hard when I read this! I only hope you were joking! I still have tears in my eyes!
Joel
I don’t want to touch this issue with a 10-foot pole. I had previously made my thoughts on what should constitute marriage known and was called names, etc. on this blog.
I just want to remind everyone that Dominica is a sovereign state and as such has the right to define legal marriage any way it wishes and also to recognize or not recognize marriages performed elsewhere in accord with its own laws. Even the sovereign states in the US can choose not to recognize marriages not legal within their borders. Recently a pair ow women married each other in Massachusetts and moved to neighboring Rhode Island. They broke up and tried to obtain a legal divorce in that state, whose courts ruled that because they could not have been married or recognized as married in Rhode Island, they couldn’t be divorced there either. Likewise, while same-sex married couples can claim “married” status on MA and CA income tax filings, they must file separate single tax returns to the federal government.
At the end of the day, Dominica can do what its own people through the acts of its own parliament think is right. If two Dominicans of the same sex “marry” in Massachusetts or California and then return to Dominica it is entirely within Dominica’s purview to either recognize that “marriage” or not, and even to prosecute whatever it defines as sodomy under its own laws. That is Dominica’s sovereign right.
I agree that Dominica as a sovereign is not obligated to recognize any marriage that would be illegal on its soil. I agree that in that respect this is probably not an issue at all.
SKT
Thanks. I also found it disturbing that the previous article regarding wife-beating got only one comment — my own.
There may be many views on sexual mores and marriage, but there should only be one on wife-beating, and that is that it is always wrong.
Speaking only for myself, with regards to wife-beating, it is just so obviously wrong that I just didn’t see what the comment would be. I don’t even have a good sense of why any man would want to beat his wife nor why any woman would accept it as an expression of love. This may be, as Chris suggested, cultural. This is by no means however, a statement regarding the culture of the Caribbean. My father, born in the Caribbean, would often tell me as a young child “never let a man buy your underwear, your respect depends on your being able to buy your own underwear”. That was an English translation but the message was always clear, always enter into a relationship as equals. There was never a question that I, as a woman, was inferior in any way or a “child” in many respects needing someone to “take care of me”. My own teaching to my children is “never be embarrassed to take care of yourself, instead be embarrassed to have to ask someone to take care of you” - this is my own version of what I was taught. So Dan, with regards to a man beating a woman, in my opinion, the beating is a result of a dysfunction, both the woman’s mental image of herself as well as the man’s mental image of his role. What needs to change is not so much more people being arrested or being jailed but a sense of a woman’s worth (I would like to point out that I do mean a woman’s worth rather than a woman’s “role”). That begins with us as parents teaching both our sons and daughters that they are worth too much to allow that to happen to them and they are worth too much to do that to someone else. I will leave you Dan with my final thought on this, I have found, through observation only - no formal educational training in this subject - that people tend to value others less and treat them that way when they don’t place a high value on themselves. Both the person committing the act of beating and the person accepting this practice would have adjustments to make.
Suki K Tranqille
As always Suki ….your prospective on every topic is always right on target - especially when you say “Both the person committing the act of beating and the person accepting this practice would have adjustments to make.”
That reminds for instance - not to long ago where a co-worker of mine was having this conversion with a young woman who’s boyfriend is physically abusing her (sometimes so badly that there are times where she has stay-out from work for days).
But when asked: “Who does she love more - herself or the boyfriend” she couldn’t answer. what a
situation to be in. How can you help someone like this if they don’t love themselves or don’t even have the willpower to admit/acknowledge that what’s happening is wrong.
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt
I think that is because there was general agreement between the author and the readers. The article was well written, to the point, but really didn’t hit on any raw nerves. There is a reason why we don’t talk about “the controversial issue of wife beating”. It is because in 2008 darn near 100% of westerners agree it is wrong.
Joel
I just would like to ask, what is this family life that we know in dominica. Ninty percent of children born are to single parents. They are usually being brought up by their mums and aunts and grandmothers. So how will same sex marriages affect family life in Dominica. Also untill the CIA established all the fundamemtalist churches in Dominica in the 80’s, back in the 50’s and sixties and 70,s we had openly gay and lesbian couples, no one thought anything about it.
They would have their own carnival flout ususally the best.
Chris stop the hypocricy and let people develope thier own relationship with God. Let God determine who is a sinner, and not you. Since Jesus never married which was strange for a Jewish young man and went around with 12 men according to your anology of the prison does that make him a lesbian or a fornicator or an adultery. I am simple saying this because I love my Lord Jesus and i hate when his name is taken in vain to support bigotry. The context of the stories in the bible is never told, and interpretation is based on peoples biases. In my understanding of the bible God is talking about abuse of humankind, both male and female in reference to the act of sodomy, the stories were not relating to consensual loving relationship between two mature adult individuals.
I support gay marriages because i think it will be a deterrent to promiscuity and help reduce the rise of sexually transmitted disease. It will be an example to heterosexaul couples as to how loving couples should live in harmony. The relationship will be more equal power bias will be less.
Also Chris are you saying that we are all homosexuals, but some of us are chosing to marry the opposite sex, thus we are heterosexual because it is illegal to be homosexual
Interesting but what is family life as we know it in dominca, as 90^ of children are born to single mothers and raised in houshold of women.