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Dominica weekly is a personal weblog about the nature island of Dominica.


This is a tough situation to escape because it’s self-perpetuating, as anyone stuck in negative thinking knows all too well. Negative experiences feed your negative expectations, which then attract new negative experiences. Most people who enter this pattern never escape it in their entire lives. And that goes for everyone – whether you’ve a PhD or GED. Yes …it’s just that difficult to escape. If you beat yourself up for being too negative, you’re simply reinforcing the pattern, not breaking out of it.

I think our people here in the nature isle are stuck in this trap, and will remain stuck until they experience an elevation in their consciousness – which will help them from making negative judgments against each other. They have to recognize that they’re trapped and that continuing to fight their own negativity while still recognizing that it’s a battle that can never be won.

Think about it. If beating yourself up for being too whiny was going to work, wouldn’t it have worked a long time ago? Are you any closer to a solution for all the effort you’ve invested in this plan of attack? Instead of resisting the negativity head-on, acknowledge and accept its presence. The solution I like best is to stop fighting and surrender – which will actually raise your consciousness.

Overcoming negativity

You can actually learn to embrace the negative thoughts running through your head and allowing them to just be. If you’re caught up in negativity, your job is to develop your consciousness to the point where you can learn to stay focused on what you want, to create positively instead of destructively. It may take you more than a lifetime to accomplish that, and that’s OK. Your life is always reflecting back to you the contents of your consciousness.

If you don’t like what you’re experiencing, that’s because your skill at conscious creation remains underdeveloped. That’s not a problem though because you’re here to develop it. You’re experiencing exactly what you’re supposed to be experiencing so you can learn. Negativity doesn’t have to be a permanent condition; we still have the freedom to choose otherwise.

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Inspired by one of my favorite Personal Development bloggers Steve Pavlina, who recently published an article titled How to be a Man; I’m following up with my own take on what I believe takes to be a man – particularly in a society like ours where most of the time the idea of being a “real” man falls between the amount of money he has or women whether or not his good with the ladies. Sad but true.

So what does it mean to be a man today? How can men in the Caribbean consciously express their masculinity with becoming cold-hearted on one hand…or a wimp on the other? In the next week or two I will be posting on what are the most loving ways for a man to live and express himself.

The first way I’m going to touch on is the aspect of Making Real Decisions.

Any man should understand and respect the power of choice, and lives a life of his own creation. He knows that life stands still when he fails to make decisions and flourishes when he chooses a clear path for himself or his family.

When a man makes a decision, he opens the door he wants and closes the doors he doesn’t want. For example, when most men decide to pursue a beautiful woman; he will do almost anything to win her heart – knowing clearly there is no guarantee he’ll win her over. But a man doesn’t need such guarantees; he simply enjoys the sense of certainty that comes for opening that door.

A man doesn’t require the approval of others. He’s will to follow his heart wherever it leads him. A quality which is lacking in most Caribbean men – fearing that their piers might disapprove of their decision and think of them differently. When a man is following his heart–centered path, it’s of little or no consequence if the whole world is against him.

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