Dominica Island Blog: Sharing Every Dominican Moment with the World

Editor’s Note: Women - Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. There’s something irresistibly-ish about them. Sometimes you just can understand what is it they really want. Well, here’s the latest thing I learned about some women that just has me nodding my head at the monitor as I read this article, so will you.

Ask for what you want ladies - By Javier

A while back a friend of mine was having issues with his girlfriend, and because I know the both of them so well I was able to size up the situation and figure out what the problem was. My friend’s girlfriend is one of those independent types, very goal-oriented and has her life planned out years in advance. My friend, however, is one of those day-by-day types, who just lets life unfold (see people opposites do attract).

Anyway, in my estimation, what happened was that she was becoming increasingly annoyed at his approach to life, she seemed to want him to start showing some of those signs of maturity, like talking about owning a house or career advancement etc. Fresh out of college and in his job for less than a year, those things are the last thing on my friend’s mind. Obviously they were both on a collision course.

My gripe has nothing to do with the collision course or even her not-wanting to understand my friend’s take on life, but really with how his girlfriend acted in the run up to it.

Being the independent type, my friend’s girlfriend has made it clear on many occasions that she can’t really see herself not being in control of her life or even being in the position where she has to depend too much on my friend. Yet for some reason she would on occasions go into this kind of blonde routine where she seems to want to be told what to do and led around like a little kid.

To me it came across as her wanting him to acknowledge her independence while at the same time wanting the security of knowing that she can depend on him if she needs to. She wanted, I think, the security of knowing that he could be “the man“.

The frequency with which she would do this suggested that she wasn’t testing him (as women are known to do) but doing it subconsciously. So to us she would come off like a crazy person during times like these.

I know emotions can make us do weird things, but I thought the whole thing was just awkward. It showed the crazy ways women respond when they are afraid to ask for what they want. Rather than just talk to my friend to get the kind of assurance she needed she let her personality change completely into this thing that none of us could stand.

I guess the moral of the story, ladies, is ask for what you want. That way you can avoid bringing out your crazy alter ego, and making your boyfriend consider dumping you because he thinks you’re crazy. Did I mention he will think you’re crazy, cause I just want to stress that.

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Nearly everyone of us knows someone who always seems to be Angry at everything (the world)? You might just know someone but just never really took time out to observe this persons behavioral pattern. While growing up as a young boy, I realized that my mom - a single parent at the time, would get angry every time she would come back from work. She would begin to go on-and-on, complain about every single thing, and eventually became apart of her life. It became to the point that if she wasn’t angry at someone or something she wouldn’t feel right about herself.

Sometimes when we feel anger, it is coming from a deep place that demands response and expression. However, anger can also become a habit, our go-to emotion whenever things go wrong. If you look at today’s society, more and more we are seeing habitual anger manifesting itself in people’s emotions. Often this is because, for whatever reason, we feel more comfortable expressing anger than we do other emotions, like sadness. It can also be that getting angry gives us the impression that we’ve done something about our problem. In these cases, our habitual anger is holding back both our ability to express our other emotions and to take action in our lives.

If it’s true that anger is functioning this way in your life, the first thing you might want to try is to notice when you get angry. For example, you could notice that it is always your first response or that it comes up a lot in one particular situation. If the pattern doesn’t become clear right away, you could try keeping a journal about when you get angry and see if you can find any underlying meaning.

One of good things about keeping a journal is that you can explore your anger more deeply in it—from examining who in your family of origin expressed a lot of anger to how you feel when you encounter anger in others. This kind of awareness can very well be the medium to your transformation.

Anger can be a powerful partner, since it is filled with energy that we can control and use to create change in the world. Anger is one of the most energizing emotions, and it can also be a very effective cleanser of the emotional system. However, when it becomes a habit, it actually loses its power to transform and becomes an obstacle to growth. Identifying the role anger plays in your life and restoring it to its proper function can bring new energy to your emotional life.

What role is anger playing in your life?

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If you’re like me, you’re maybe fed up with humanity, whether it’s from learning about what’s going on around the world, or what’s going on in our own backyard. For some reason there are always situations that leave us feeling as if people are simply incapable of behaving in a way that is coming from a place of understanding.

It seems as if people are only equipped to handle things in the worst possible way, over and over again. As a result, we find ourselves always lingering down that judgmental line about our own people.

It is perfectly natural to feel let down and ashamed when we see our people behaving in ways that are greedy, selfish, violent and insensible, but there are also ways to channel these disappointments without sinking to the level of ignorance. Once we can achieve that—and we may need to do it every day, as part of our daily self-care—we can begin to consider ways that we might help the situation in which our island finds itself.

As always, we should start with ourselves, utilizing our awareness of the failings of others to renew our own commitment to be more conscious human beings. We are all capable of the best and the worst that mankind has to offer, and remembering this keeps us in check, as well as allowing us to find compassion for others.

Whatever the case, the only thing we can do is pledge to serve the best, rather than the worst, of what mankind has to offer - both in the world, our island, and in ourselves.

What do you think? Share your opinion.

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