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Editor’s note:This article was published in the February 2nd,2009 issue of the Sun Newspaper by Dr. Janet Taylor, and I thought it so clever I wanted to share with Dominica Weekly readers.

Did you know that some geologists exploring Dominica found a new element? The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact, a tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally lake less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has normal half-life of 2-6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.This characteristic of morons promotion lead some scientists to believe that Goverametium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

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