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In a recent post, I talked about how we should all follow our dreams, and ignore all the negative thoughts surrounding us.

So what about those external negative factors — the naysayers? Those friends and family and people in authority who tell you to stop dreaming, to be realistic, to take a more traditional path? Those who tell you that you can’t do something?

You have to learn to block them out. Or, if you have a contrarian attitude about life, learn to let those naysayers fuel your determination — make it your desire to prove the naysayers wrong!
How do you block out naysayers? The same way you block out doubts and negative thoughts in your own head: you squash them. OK, don’t literally squash another person. But when they say something negative, or something that is likely to cause doubts in your head, take that thought (in your head) and squash it. Then replace it with something positive.

If someone is constantly bringing you down and constantly making you feel like you can’t do something, you might consider removing them from your life. This sounds drastic, and it can be, but the truth is that having a life full of negative people will drag you down to their level, and stop you from doing what you want to do.

I’m not saying you should give up all your friends or never see your parents again (if they’re the naysayers), but I am saying that you should pick your friends carefully. Instead, surround yourself with positive, encouraging people. If you have friends like that, you can do anything…take my word for it.

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This is a tough situation to escape because it’s self-perpetuating, as anyone stuck in negative thinking knows all too well. Negative experiences feed your negative expectations, which then attract new negative experiences. Most people who enter this pattern never escape it in their entire lives. And that goes for everyone – whether you’ve a PhD or GED. Yes …it’s just that difficult to escape. If you beat yourself up for being too negative, you’re simply reinforcing the pattern, not breaking out of it.

I think our people here in the nature isle are stuck in this trap, and will remain stuck until they experience an elevation in their consciousness – which will help them from making negative judgments against each other. They have to recognize that they’re trapped and that continuing to fight their own negativity while still recognizing that it’s a battle that can never be won.

Think about it. If beating yourself up for being too whiny was going to work, wouldn’t it have worked a long time ago? Are you any closer to a solution for all the effort you’ve invested in this plan of attack? Instead of resisting the negativity head-on, acknowledge and accept its presence. The solution I like best is to stop fighting and surrender – which will actually raise your consciousness.

Overcoming negativity

You can actually learn to embrace the negative thoughts running through your head and allowing them to just be. If you’re caught up in negativity, your job is to develop your consciousness to the point where you can learn to stay focused on what you want, to create positively instead of destructively. It may take you more than a lifetime to accomplish that, and that’s OK. Your life is always reflecting back to you the contents of your consciousness.

If you don’t like what you’re experiencing, that’s because your skill at conscious creation remains underdeveloped. That’s not a problem though because you’re here to develop it. You’re experiencing exactly what you’re supposed to be experiencing so you can learn. Negativity doesn’t have to be a permanent condition; we still have the freedom to choose otherwise.

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One of the traps that’s easy to fall into is filling your life with too many incompatibilities – places, objects, activities, people, and circumstances that we just don’t mesh with the person you’re on the inside. Not too long ago a good friend of mine realized that he had surrounded himself with so many incompatibilities – in his relationships, job and activities. Shame to say, but a lot of us are just tolerating certain aspects in our daily life – even if we know that it’s not who we’re inside.

When your external reality is out of sync with your inner self, your inner self will refuse to give in to it. This creates the feeling of wanting to escape your circumstances. You’ll fantasize about quitting you job, moving out, ending a relationship(s). You may feel powerless to make big changes, but deep down you’ll still sense a strong desire to “get out” and leave parts of your reality behind.

Like my friend, it’s easy to lose years of your life while surrounded by incompatible energies. In fact this problem is so common that some people just consider it normal. They figure it’s normal to dread going to work or to feel disconnected from the people around them. This may be common, but it certainly isn’t a healthy situation.

Look at the different parts of your life — your career, health, relationships, spiritual practice, daily habits, and finances — and ask yourself these questions, “Is this really me?” do you hear some no’s? How long have you been tolerating these incompatibilities?

Some people think it’s a good thing to tolerate the parts of life they don’t like. I think personally that’s stupid. Tolerance isn’t acceptance. Tolerance is resistance.

When you fill your life with energies you must tolerate, you prevent yourself from attracting what you really want. The more incompatibilities you tolerate in your life, the fewer compatibilities you’ll be able to attract and enjoy. Keep this up for a few years, and you’ll be drowning in a life that feels totally wrong for you.

What bothers you about your life? What are you tolerating right now? I’m challenging you to stop tolerating your life. Kick out the incompatible parts to create the space for a life you’re able to love and accept completely.

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