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Inspired by one of my favorite Personal Development bloggers Steve Pavlina, who recently published an article titled How to be a Man; I’m following up with my own take on what I believe takes to be a man – particularly in a society like ours where most of the time the idea of being a “real” man falls between the amount of money he has or women whether or not his good with the ladies. Sad but true.

So what does it mean to be a man today? How can men in the Caribbean consciously express their masculinity with becoming cold-hearted on one hand…or a wimp on the other? In the next week or two I will be posting on what are the most loving ways for a man to live and express himself.

The first way I’m going to touch on is the aspect of Making Real Decisions.

Any man should understand and respect the power of choice, and lives a life of his own creation. He knows that life stands still when he fails to make decisions and flourishes when he chooses a clear path for himself or his family.

When a man makes a decision, he opens the door he wants and closes the doors he doesn’t want. For example, when most men decide to pursue a beautiful woman; he will do almost anything to win her heart – knowing clearly there is no guarantee he’ll win her over. But a man doesn’t need such guarantees; he simply enjoys the sense of certainty that comes for opening that door.

A man doesn’t require the approval of others. He’s will to follow his heart wherever it leads him. A quality which is lacking in most Caribbean men – fearing that their piers might disapprove of their decision and think of them differently. When a man is following his heart–centered path, it’s of little or no consequence if the whole world is against him.

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Maybe it’s fair to say that if you don’t know your purpose in life, you won’t be spending much time working on it. A perfect example is our Dominican youth today. I can’t help to ask myself, if they don’t know their purpose in life what will they end up doing with all extra time on their hands. It’s obvious they’re not spending that time working on their needs or the needs of other people and their purpose.

If you don’t know your purpose, the limit of the work you do for yourself will be wedged at the level of need, which at best usually grows into greed. Again I can’t help to stress on how most of our youths in Dominica and 9 out off 10-times find themselves in this situation. Not particularly fulfilling spending your whole life this way.

On the other hand, when you know your purpose and live it consciously each day, you’re free. No one else owns you. Whether you run your own business or work for someone else, you always see yourself as self-employed. You lead your own life, and although others may hold authority over you in some situations, you focus on what you can control and don’t whine about what you can’t, and in so doing, your influence expands to the point that you become a leader no matter what your formal position. Your leadership comes from knowing your purpose.

To break free of working on your owners’ goals, you have to know your own purpose. And this means you have to empty your head of all your owners’ thoughts and conditioning and get deep down, where your thoughts are clear and calm, where you once again remember who you really are.

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