What kinds of things do you say about yourself to yourself? Or how do you explain things to yourself? With positive self talk or negative? I want us to really time some time to think about this, because what we say to ourselves radically affects the quality of our lives, and our ability to do things effectively. Do you always tell yourself â€œimpossible,â€ â€œmore problems,â€ â€œnever,â€ and â€œI canâ€™t?â€
Below are some of the things that positive and negative people say. Observe the difference, and start talking to yourself in constructive ways, if you donâ€™t alreadyâ€¦thereâ€™s no time like the present to start.
Negative Self Talk
When negative people explain bad things, they internalize them (“It’s me again.”), consider them permanent (“It’s always this way.”), and generalize (“Life sucks.”). When they explain good things, they externalize them (“That’s just lucky.”), consider them temporary (“That went well TODAY.”), and see them only in a specific context (“At least THIS went right.”).
- “I screwed up again.”
- “This good weather won’t last.”
- “It’s ALWAYS a mess when I meet someone new.”
- “This party is great, not like mine.”
- “This is fun for now.”
- “Well, THAT went okay, I guess.”
Positive Self Talk
When positive people explain bad things, they externalize them (“The weather caused it.”), consider them temporary (“That was a rough couple hours.”), and see them as isolated (“THAT part of the plan didn’t work, but…”). When they explain good things, they internalize them (“Life is great!”), consider them to be more or less permanent changes (“Now I know how to do this.”), and generalize from them (“Things are working out well.”).
- “That just went bad due to the weather.”
- “It was rough for an hour or two.”
- “The car broke down, but the trip was fun.”
- “I’ve done well with this.”
- “This has become a great business to be in.”
- “I like the way things are going.”
Explain things to yourself differently, and you’ll see a difference in your mind-set today. Make positive self talk your normal mode of operation, and you’ll see a difference in your life.