Besides making real decisions, a man has to be confident in the way he speaks and acts – he owns his attitude.
He often knows that failure is a possible outcome in his life, that’s why a (real) man does not adopt a confident attitude because he knows he’ll succeed. When the odds of success are clearly against him, he still displays confidence. It’s not because he’s uninformed or suffering from denial. It’s because he’s proving to himself that he has the strength and the ability to rise above his self-doubt. This builds his courage and persistence, two of his most valuable allies.
A man is willing to be defeated by the world. He’s willing to be taken down by circumstances beyond his control. But he refuses to be overwhelmed by his own self-doubt. He knows that when he stops trusting and believing in himself, he is surely lost. He’ll surrender to fate when necessary, but he won’t surrender to fear – which he knows keeps him on the alert.
America’s and the world’s biggest problem right now is that George W. Bush is self-confident. He won’t even consider the possibility he might be wrong.
Self-confidence in one’s abilities and character is fine, but it shouldn’t extend to thinking oneself always right; that is hubris and vanity and can be deadly.
No offense Dan…and not that I don’t agree with you, but is a political snipe at the American President appropriate for this instance of the blog? Chris is expressing some very positive thoughts on the building of character and personal development. Something that he feels is missing in aspects of some of Dominica’s men. I would argue that it extends to some men’s attitudes throughout the world. To take that and turn it into a negatively targeted political extension is…well…cheap.
As for Chris – Well said. Part of what we try to do at my job is to get young men (and women) to put aside self-doubt in order to push forward towards bigger goals. The things you are stating are the exact kinds of things that young men (and old) need in their hearts to help provide for a more well rounded and valuable possibility for future success. I look forward to you thoughts in your next blog.
What Chris is doing is fine. But personality drives politics. Bush is an extreme case, but other politicians are driven by self-perception and fear of appearing weak, and hence swagger, act macho too, and cause suffering as a result. My point is that Bush is a visible example of why one should not be self OVER-confident.
How about Albert Einstein, Tomas Eddison, any succesfull writers, artists and etc.? Where the world will be without their “be confident”? This is just as an electricity. You can cook the food or you also can cook a man. On what you are prefer to focus and what do you want to support?
I am a retired physicist. Albert Einstein was personally troubled, was an awful husband to his first wife. Edison was lonely and simply persistent; a loner because he’d been deafened by someone boxing his ears when he was a boy. Writers? How many successful ones were suicides (Hemingway) and/or homosexual (mentally ill, like Tennessee Williams, Gore Vidal).
Bush was swaggering around on an aircraft carrier deck dressed as if he’s landed a plane (he had not) and inviting the enemy to “bring it on” — see what we got!
To be awful husbund is it means do not to be a confident about your purpose or what you do? They were confident enough about their purpose to accomplish that most of people didn’t never discover before or afraid to do.
Dan – I happen to agree with you on Bush, however, my issue is that this blog entry is not the proper place to take a shot at politics you disagree with. Especially when the main focus is on the country of Dominica and on issues of personal development. Veselo is correct. You may have a viewpoint or an issue, but what do you do with it? Do you take it and channel it into something productive? Or do you point out the flaws in others. What is that biblical quote…he who is without sin cast the first stone or something like that.
I would like to turn this around a bit to something a little more inspired. You say you are a retired physicist. And in my imagination about you I would assume that you worked on various experiments throughout your career. And in those experiments you probably had 100 failures for each brilliant success. But each of those failures brought you new knowledge or insight into the inner workings of the universe, probably more so then what the success brought you. I am curious…do you have a particular time in your mind where you were on the verge of giving up on a project except your confidence in yourself and your experience allowed you to push through to a resounding success?
Character is destiny and pride goes before a fall. When a cowardly lying national figure postures it can lead to deaths of innocents and of brave but misled soldiers. I cited Bush because what good would it do to cite as an example of self-OVERconfidence because what good would it do to have cited someone nobody has ever heard of?
We all have failures. But insanity is doing the same thing over an over and expecting different results. Edison took many tries at finding the right lamp filament, but he tried a different one each time. I think he was more persistent than confident.
I did not do that many experiments of note.
I would like to end this thread.
High self esteem has been recognised as a big an issue as low self esteem/confidence. Its not talked about much but people with high self esteem arrange wars and genocides, they create mass suicides… but they are not truly people of confidence. Do a search and you will find many things written on it.
http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/self/esteem/high.html
What’s being talked about here is balanced self esteem. Believing in your ability to succeed despite what reality may be telling you. I know many people who in the midst of having no money and about to lose everything… house, car, family gone etc have turned it around because they kept a strong belief in their ability to do that.
I love the end line about surrending to fate but not to fear. It’s a great post and it looks like its a piece from one of those classic books like “think and grow rich” or “acres of diamonds” or something… or did you write it yourself Chris?
Diane Corriette
Dominican Diaspora
Sadly to say Diane ….”He’ll surrender to fate when necessary, but he won’t surrender to fear” are not my words – I came across this sentence while browsing through some of my favourite personal development blogs I read constantly.
These words hit so close to home for me, and In some cosmic/strange way they represent the man I am.
There you have it. What I should have said was that too much (too high, unrealistic) self-esteem may be a dangerous superiority complex. Thanks, Diane!
No problem Dan 🙂 I knew what you meant as soon as I read it!
Well Chris, whoever wrote it they definitely are words that resonate. Too many great things are abandoned or never started because of fear.