Maybe the most important step in quitting the habit of Complaining is to separate that undesirable behavior from your identity. One of the most common mistake chronic complainers make is to self-identify with all the negative thoughts running through their minds. Such a person might confess, “I know I’m responsible for my thoughts, but how do I get myself to stop thinking negative thoughts so often”.

It will appear like a step in the right direction, and to a certain degree it is, but it’s also a form self entrapment. It’s good to take responsibility for your thoughts, but identifying those thoughts to the point you end up blaming yourself might produce negative thoughts that are even worse.

A better statement might be, “I recognize these negative thoughts going through my mind. But those thoughts are not me. As I raise my awareness, I can replace those thoughts with positive alternatives.” You have the power to mend your thoughts, but the trick is to keep your consciousness out of the predicament of blame. Be aware that while these thoughts are flowing through your mind, they are no way apart of you. You are just the conscious medium through which they flow.

When you find yourself complaining, stop and ask yourself if you want to continue to deny responsibility for your reality or to allow a bit more responsibility back onto your life.

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