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Purely Dominica

Purely Dominica


Editor’s Note: Women – Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. There’s something irresistibly-ish about them. Sometimes you just can understand what is it they really want. Well, here’s the latest thing I learned about some women that just has me nodding my head at the monitor as I read this article, so will you.

Ask for what you want ladies – By Javier

A while back a friend of mine was having issues with his girlfriend, and because I know the both of them so well I was able to size up the situation and figure out what the problem was. My friend’s girlfriend is one of those independent types, very goal-oriented and has her life planned out years in advance. My friend, however, is one of those day-by-day types, who just lets life unfold (see people opposites do attract).

Anyway, in my estimation, what happened was that she was becoming increasingly annoyed at his approach to life, she seemed to want him to start showing some of those signs of maturity, like talking about owning a house or career advancement etc. Fresh out of college and in his job for less than a year, those things are the last thing on my friend’s mind. Obviously they were both on a collision course.

My gripe has nothing to do with the collision course or even her not-wanting to understand my friend’s take on life, but really with how his girlfriend acted in the run up to it.

Being the independent type, my friend’s girlfriend has made it clear on many occasions that she can’t really see herself not being in control of her life or even being in the position where she has to depend too much on my friend. Yet for some reason she would on occasions go into this kind of blonde routine where she seems to want to be told what to do and led around like a little kid.

To me it came across as her wanting him to acknowledge her independence while at the same time wanting the security of knowing that she can depend on him if she needs to. She wanted, I think, the security of knowing that he could be “the man“.

The frequency with which she would do this suggested that she wasn’t testing him (as women are known to do) but doing it subconsciously. So to us she would come off like a crazy person during times like these.

I know emotions can make us do weird things, but I thought the whole thing was just awkward. It showed the crazy ways women respond when they are afraid to ask for what they want. Rather than just talk to my friend to get the kind of assurance she needed she let her personality change completely into this thing that none of us could stand.

I guess the moral of the story, ladies, is ask for what you want. That way you can avoid bringing out your crazy alter ego, and making your boyfriend consider dumping you because he thinks you’re crazy. Did I mention he will think you’re crazy, cause I just want to stress that.

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1 Comment »

Comment by Suki
2008-09-01 09:42:53

Somehow, I think relationships are a little more complex than that. There are many reasons relationships fail and perhaps it might be useful to note that open communication between the people in the relationship is helpful but to suggest that women need to ask for what they want or to come to the conclusion that the individual in this relationship just wanted her boyfriend to be “the man” strikes me as sexist. We will be better off when we stop putting people in a box of defined roles. You are still a man even if you are not the primary breadwinner.

Suki K Tranqille

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